I think I'm going through an early quarter-life crisis.
I don't even know how to put my thoughts into words haha.
Without going into explicit detail for the world to see, basically I'm just at a loss with what to do with my life. I hope this feeling passes, but it's been going on for a while lol
I remember a few years back when I was younger, people always thought that I looked like I had my shit together. I guess in a sense it seemed like I had my shit together. But these days, with one subject left before graduation, which most days I doubt myself as to whether I am able to graduate. But seriously, I'm scared as to what I am going to do after this year. Honestly, this entire year I've only had three subjects to do before graduation, so in reality, I could have chosen to do all three last semester but I chose against it, in fear of failure. It's like there are empty spaces which need to be filled in my life, like i don't know if that makes sense but I need to find something to fill those spaces in. With that being said, I've kind of somewhat had a 'chill' one year of study, but still feeling the pressure.
I feel like being a Uni student makes me look like I'm doing something with my life. Like, if someone asks you what you're doing with your life and you respond with "I'm still at uni" it's as if like you've automatically got your shit together. But what happens when that's over? I don't know either. It's like if there was an unsubscribe button from being an adult, I would have already pushed the button months ago.
Yesterday, I met up with two close friends from high school who I've known for over ten years and caught up on life, we all actually couldn't believe as to how fast time has been and how different our lives are now from when we all first met when we were like twelve.
Sometimes it's hard to believe that five years have already passed since our high school graduation, how many new people we've met and all the new experiences we've gone through from after that point that we need a moment to breathe and realise how far we've gotten.
For now, I'm going to leave it at this and live each day as it goes by :)